Swallow your gut
I've been wanting to blog these thoughts for quite awhile. And now I finally have the chance to do so(: Now it's just you and me. hahahaa.
You know sometimes, we as sinful humans seek the purest joy in the littlest vengeance. Say, a fat auntie shouts at you for not "siaming"(dodging) when she walks into you, and the next second she falls flat on the ground cause a fatter ang moh bangs into her. hahah. It's natural if we give that sinister grin. (If you're normal) But if you burst out into fits of laughter and dance around the upside down auntie, i'm sorry... I dunno you. hahaha.
That was scenario 1. Vengeance mirror-reflected back to source.
Here's Scenario 2: Vengeance on innocent parties who remind you of the guilty party who inflicted any sort of pain whatsoever unto you. Now THIS is the blackest sin.
Okay i don't wanna sound like some depressed emo teenager now. *Takes a deep breath*
I feel really really really realllllly bad when i commit scenario 2. As much adrenaline rush as you get from it, the downside's twice as bad. But i guess people do the most irrational things when desperate times call for desperate measures, when the situation calls for a certain reaction - the reaction they think is the best at the point in time.
It's like an invisible act of regaining something. Esteem? Power? I dunno. Something bad.
It's like how people with problem childhoods behave a certain manner, to make up for something.
In the end we do things to 'claim' something back or 'make up' for something we've lost.
What then, is real and genuine?(ans: Jesus!)
XOXO
So why don't we make one more wrong turn tonight?